The Drunk Confessional

[greyestfox]

Sometimes when I get bored, I take pictures of my boobs and photoshop smily faces on them. I like my boobs with smiley faces on them.

I told Tensu's mom I wore and invisible condom after having unprotected sex so that she wouldn't have me go on Maury.

I took a dump on Levitz's lawn and told him it was fertilizers, but wouldn't tell him where I bought it...

My milkshake can bring all the manthras to the yard, but it won't save you money on auto insurance.

I once gave my moogle elephant tranquilizers so it'd stop spinning during job changes, now I have to borrow moogles to change my job.

I taught a chocobo to smoke so it'd have withdrawls and dig without greens.

I can believe it's not butter, but I can't believe that Galkas aren't extinct yet.

I once put catnip in a subligar so I'd have 300 mithras rubbing my boobs as I sk8te 1337ly on the walls.

I once tried to use Mozes to pick up girls by dressing him up and baby clothing and doing the single dad routine.

I farted on an airship and blamed Atreyu for it.

I put butane in Nar's taco meat and tried to light his fart on fire.

I tried to make love to an NPC in Valkurm and got a restraining order from her against me.